Transvestia

and to play girl's

I wanted to play with girls games. I frequently played with my Teddy Bear (I kept "him" until I was nine or ten possible as a substitute brother as I am the sole offspring) and we had some very enjoyable tea parties using a fine toy china tea set which my Mother had kept from time to time. I would not, however, actually play with girls unless totally un- avoidable and I once vigorously protested when one of my numerous female cousins, pointing toward my toy garage, gleefully exclaimed, "Ooooh! Let's play with your doll's house".

In chapter nine I was nine years old - we find a shopping incident. Mamma and I are visiting depart- ment stores, buying Christman gifts for my fourteen cou- sins. I, an authority on toys, am consulted regarding the suitability of each purchase. Laden with miscella- neous and sundry play things, Mamma leads the way to the girl's clothing department, there to buy two sets of underwear for my two oldest cousins. That's all there is to the incident except for one significant point; I re- call vividly, the items of underwear, but I cannot re- member any of the toys we bought that day.

... And so it went, Never dressed as a girl - in clothes that fitted or suited my age at least. The first record of this appears at about the age of thirteen - the opportunity had been there before but I was much too a fraid to take advantage of it. From thirteen onward it was a different story - no hesitation. At each and every opportunity I borrowed, for a few moments, anything I could find and, oh! what guilt... To be discovered.. Fear... I asked myself, "Am I mad"? 1 confided in no one, and as far as I know, no one knew. "She" was my secret my own sweet, sickening, terrifying secret - and such she remained until I was twenty-six.

the Air Force as a flight mechanic

Toward the end of World War 11 I was drafted into a profession which I had chosen upon leaving school at the age of fifteen. Those were busy years, and it seems as though she re- cognized the importance of the task at hand, controlling her demands accordingly. She appeared only during lei- sure hours, weekends passes and so forth.